Remember when it was all about Hello Kitty? Or when it was cool to own something with the Playboy Bunny logo? Well, times have changed, thank Bob. If Hello Kitty is the spirit *animal* of basic bitches in the 2000’s, today, it’s all about the magical unicorns. You must be from another planet if you haven’t heard that they’re the new cool thing right now, because you pretty much can’t scroll down the Instagram Explore feed without coming across at least 10 Different shots with Unicorn floaties in Santorini. They’re literally everywhere, which is ironic, because they’re supposed to be an elusive, whimsical creature. These days, you can easily go to a Target (or Primark, or SM) and you’ll spot shelves of them right away, and FFS, even Starbucks has its own Unicorn drink.
But can you blame this generation though– unicorns are cool af. They’re fun, they’re cute, and no matter how basic they’ve gotten, that’s okay because we’ve all got a little bit of basic bitch inside. So when I came across a photo of the now so popular Unicorn Cafe, back in 2015, the basic bitch inside of me was raging, dying to go. And in 2016, I found myself in Bangkok and as luck would have it, the hostel I was staying at was literally a 5-minute walk away from the magical place.
You’ll know it when you see it. It’s like reaching the end of the the rainbow, but instead of finding a pot of gold, you’ll spot something like a pastel paradise that Lisa Frank threw up on. It’s super girly, it’s a little obnoxious, and it’s pretty damn dreamy. But let me tell you right now before the Instagram pictures fool you; it’s nowhere near magical. But shall we start with the good stuff though?
The Good Stuff
It’s a unicorn themed cafe. How else could I make that sound better? They’re not only filled with unicorn stuffed animals and My Little Pony toys, but they serve unicorn themed food too. Think rainbow in pastel cake. Unicorn horns in cupcakes. And slushies so beautiful they’re what I imagine unicorn poop would look like. They’re fun, alright, and almost every corner is Instagrammable– and guess what, if you flood my feed with pictures from here, I wouldn’t even be mad. It’s THAT pretty.
The food isn’t half bad either. It’s nothing special or life changing, but it’s not something you could really hate. For the price you’re paying, you could definitely find better tasting food in Bangkok, but that’s not really the point here, is it? You’re paying for a once in a lifetime chance to succumb to the child in you and experience being Unicorn land. Trust me, it’s worth it.
There are Unicorn onesies in different sizes that you can wear too which not only adds to the experience, but also makes your photos a little bit more legit. They even have an odd unicorn mascot head, which I’m not gonna lie– I tried on with no shame. Of all themed cafes I’ve been to, this is by far the most fun. Heck, I’d even say it’s the best one.
The bad news– it definitely looks a lot better in the pictures. I mean, it’s really cute and pretty damn on point. All I’m saying is don’t set your expectations too high because there would be quite a few disappointments. For instance, I was expecting the smell of somewhere between Bath and Body Works, fresh laundry, and freshly baked cupcakes. But it didn’t. There’s a funny little smell, nothing too pungent or gross, but it was definitely not pleasant. Kinda like a humid room that hasn’t been aired out in over a week. It smelled dirty.
And that’s probably because it was pretty dirty. At least on the day that I went, it was. To be fair though, I went after lunch time so they were probably recovering from their peak hours. So see, I’m even making excuses for them because the place is just so damn adorable that I’m still trying to sell it to you. And no, I’m not even getting paid to write this. Not even with a free drink.
Nevertheless, it was definitely not how I imagined unicorn land would be. The onesies were dirty and a bit smelly, some were even stained. The one I tried on was in decent condition, but it still smelled a bit funky. It didn’t matter because I was sweating the entire day coming from the airplane graveyard (READ: There’s An Airplane Graveyard In Bangkok And It’s Cool AF) and I knew I was gonna go for a shower right when I get back to my hostel. The mascot head was probably the one thing I would actually refer to as *disgusting*. It was dirty and smelled pungent inside– like sweat and mold.
Clearly, nothing is ever perfect, not even unicorn land. I did, however, had a blast when I went here. It’s Unicorn Cafe ffs. I ingested unnecessary calories but I couldn’t not do it. I felt like a child and though I was alone, it was actually something I didn’t even knew I needed. Plus I found it first! Do you know how awesome it feels finding something before it’s all over the internet? Pretty damn amazing. I felt like Ferdinand Magellan. But you know what, even if the Unicorn Cafe is old news now, it’s still worth the trip. Sure, Bangkok has so much more cooler things to offer you, and you’d rather see more culture. But sometimes, quirky ass shit like this is just as necessary as cultural immersion. And I mean come on, does your city have a legit Unicorn Cafe though? Get off your high horse and just go.
Soi Sathorn 8, Bangkok, Thailand
+66 86 397 9262
Disclaimer: I was not paid nor compensated to write this post.
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